Due to our regular busy work day, we spend most of our time at the office. When we have a minute to spare, we think spending time with our other half equals to building a good relationship. But according to Bowen Family Theory, it is not necessarily correct:

(Left diagram): If we spend most of our time in a relationship and less on self-development, when bumps happen, it will be harder for us to handle the situation.

(Right Diagram): On the other hand, if we spend more time to develop ourselves, eg, taking classes, building a social network, doing exercises, when negative things happen, we can absorb the shock and overcome these obstacles with greater ease.

A relationship is “effort spent on feeling secure for the relationship”

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