Rachael – Rachael's Diary

Greeting cultural differences on a first date

Rachael — Wed, 27 Jun 2018 04:14:26 +0000

Here are my thoughts on the key greeting differences:

1. If you are a Westerner, meeting Asian girls … instead of giving a kiss on the cheek, test the waters out to see what makes the lady comfortable.

2. Shaking hands only happen when you are meeting someone for business – DON”T DO THAT ON A DATE. Most European, France, Spain, Italy, and UK men like to greet friends by kissing on both cheeks. Dutch and Belgium will give a cheek kiss 3 times.

3. If you don’t know how to react, just smile which is the near-universal friendliness. Do not act like you never have been kissed on the cheek before. Act like nothing has happened.

4. Make sure you spray cologne/perfume, and that your face is clean and neat, not oily. About perfume: many people are allergic especially to cheap perfume.

5. In Asia, generally speaking, no physical contact on the first date when greeting each other (best to wait until things are more relaxed – a few drinks definitely helps!).
In conclusion, a hug, a gentle touch of the shoulder, a smile on a first date.

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Keep studying and practicing to The PHD Rule

Rachael — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 02:57:22 +0000

Last night when I was watching a movie with my loved one, a movie called Dr. Strange, someone asked the doctor: What makes you become a PHD?

He said “Study and practice!”

This applies to all professional jobs, dating, and relationships. Someone also said: I found the harder I work, the luckier I get.

Therefore let’s keep studying and practicing how to be good at dating, a good gentleman/lady, or a good spouse.

You will find the harder you work at it…the luckier you become, and the closer you will get to what you want.

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Meaning of a ring

Rachael — Thu, 21 Jun 2018 02:49:41 +0000

There are four types of ring: the Promise Ring, the Engagement Ring, the Marriage Ring and the Infinity (Eternity) Ring.

A promise ring, also names the pre-engagement ring, is a symbol of commitment and monogamy. It’s not necessary a diamond.

An engagement ring, since De Beer advertised that a “Diamond is forever”, should cost men two to three months’ salary.

A marriage ring is to tell the world that we are prepared to spend the rest of our lives together. This shiny gold thing often helps many men stay out of trouble. When other women see the ring, they target somewhere else. It is often a symbol that he or she is taken.

An Infinity ring is given during significant anniversary, meaning that love is eternal.

There are rich couples who wear a simple ring. Or Happily married woman never have a huge stone on their finger. Often, when a guy marries a woman, he cannot afford a big stone so he offers a small one. As time goes by, he may be able to afford a bigger and better one if you are being a good and supportive wife.

The art of proposing:

Gentleman, when you propose, put the ring in the box, and ask will you marry me? If she says yes, put the ring on her finger. It’s a ring that she will wear for the rest of her life. Give her the receipt and tell her she can change to whatever design she likes, or you can just give it to her. As a gift. As a courtesy, if you are not going to marry him, you should return the ring. Wait for a week or two and politely return in person. Never say the stone is too small or that you don’t like that brand. If you are in love for a long time, he can always give you another one.

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Show confidence in yourself and in your partner

Rachael — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 07:53:37 +0000

*One evening, Rene and Gilbert decided to have a drink and play a couple of games of pool. Rene was running late, and when she arrived, she found Gilbert playing with Bo (who looked like she already had a few drinks), Marcus, and Michelle. It so happens that they all work for the same financial institution.

As soon as Rene arrived, Gilbert invited her to play doubles, which was very gentlemanly of him. During the game, Bo suddenly kissed Gilbert. Now Rene is a confident lady, and instead of protesting that she is Gilbert’s girlfriend, she gazed at the pool table mapping out how to help him win the game. When it was her turn, Rene asked Gilbert what she would get if she made the shots. A kiss? On the lips? He really likes her but he also has to be respectful of his colleagues, including Bo. After Rene potted two amazing shots to win the game, he gave her a deep passionate kiss. Bo got the message.

If your partner is desirable, other people will have their eyes on him/her. Stay cool and show confidence in yourself and in your partner. Playing pool helps you focus and stay cool under pressure, and it will pay off one day.

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Why do men like to help?

Rachael — Tue, 24 Oct 2017 01:50:24 +0000

*In terms of evolutionary psychology, men have always been protectors. When a man sees a woman who needs help, he instinctively feels the urge to offer a hand, whether it is changing light bulbs, moving heavy furniture, or killing cockroaches. And when the woman shows appreciation, the man feels good because he was able to ...

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Eating Healthy

Rachael — Thu, 19 Oct 2017 07:26:28 +0000

Clients often say they want to eat healthily but it’s difficult to find healthy food in Hong Kong. Or they might say they’re not used to just having a salad as a meal. There are actually more choices than you think. With Deliveroo and Uber Eats at your fingertips, finding healthy food isn’t that hard. A few of my favorites are Mana, Pret A Manger and Nood.
(More choices here: http://www.afoodieworld.com)
If you are not used to just having a cold dish as a meal, order a combination of a hot vegetable soup and salad. The hearty soup will keep you warm without making you feel sluggish.
Challenge yourself to eat healthy one meal a day, or one day per week. You will be able to see a big difference with only a small change in your eating habits. I had salad and vegetable soup yesterday and I’m already a pound lighter today.
Key: Eating healthy will give you more energy for your workouts as well. You can look forward to a better body shape and look good in whatever you wear.

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You are not your job

Rachael — Fri, 06 Oct 2017 02:36:57 +0000

*During a follow-up, a client who is a journalist was asking very critical questions. I said I hope you’re not doing the same when you’re on a date. She said, “But I’m a journalist. I always think this way.” I said if you were interviewing Princess Diana or Mother Teresa, would you take a softer approach? I can’t imagine too many guys would enjoying sharing life with someone who is always challenging or arguing with them. You don’t have to agree with him all the time, but think about how your strong opinions might make them feel.

We are all expected to make efforts to excel in our work or career, but we should avoid being defined by our jobs. We need to expend more energy cultivating empathy and other virtues, which may be more important to achieving success in life and in a relationship.

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How to play pool and learn to be a good wife

Rachael — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 08:21:30 +0000

Rachael & Smith recently created Pool Networking events to increase opportunities for interaction and socializing for clients who sign up as part of the service.

In this group, potential matches meet regularly to practice. One night, I was playing with my client Evelyn when two mature western guys in their early 50s came up and asked to join us for mixed doubles. After a few shots, I asked one of the guys, “Why aren’t you teaching your partner Evelyn?” He said she wasn’t listening to him. Evelyn is a businesswoman and knows how to play, so it’s difficult for her to just follow advice.

I suggested to Evelyn to try listening more to your partner, even if you disagree, and see what happens. Then the guy said, “You sound like you’re teaching her how to be a wife.”

I said, “Partnership is not just about telling the other person what to do. It’s about communication, and making an effort to avoid misunderstandings.”

In any game, teamwork is tantamount to success and enjoyment. It is important to make your partner feel that his/her efforts are appreciated. If it’s your life partner and you cannot agree on the small things, it’s going to be a long, arduous journey.

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Dating is like photography

Rachael — Wed, 27 Sep 2017 06:31:36 +0000

I recently met with a potential new client who is an auditor. We started by having a casual chat. I asked about her hobbies. She said she likes film photography. She likes the idea that we have to take 100-200 shots to arrive at one good image. It is a process of discovery, often in total darkness, and you never know which picture is best until it is developed.

I said that sounds familiar. She laughed and agreed that it’s a lot like dating. Love is never effort-free. Dating itself should not be easy. In the movies, all that drama and romance is condensed into two hours. In life, it takes time for love to grow, and yes, develop. We also make positives from the negatives.

In my matchmaking experience, those who achieve successful outcomes are the ones who maintain an open mind and keep refining the process. The client signed up and took the first step in her journey of love.

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Dating is not that hard.

Rachael — Fri, 22 Sep 2017 02:54:21 +0000

*Peter (1977) a finance controller, met a businesswoman named Evelyn (1979). They hit it off and were on the verge of starting a relationship, but then she decided to break it off. When she called me, crying, I knew it was serious. So I talked to them separately to try and understand what the problem was. Peter said he likes how genuine she is, but that her opinions can be very strong sometimes.

During our long chat, Evelyn said, “Rachael, I should have talked to you first before I broke off with him. You are right, I have been learning a lot. At work, I know how to manage staff, but I am terrible at dating.” I asked, “Do you mean that you are successful at work, and accept the fact that you can’t manage the relationship as well as he can?” Not every dating experience will lead to a fairy tale ending, but they do offer a growing experience. I have found that the more successful we are at work, the more fearful we become of failing at a relationship. Dating is not that hard. The greatest obstacle is our own expectations. A lady who runs three businesses said, “I only discovered this in the last 2-3 years. To keep good staff, we have to treat them like boyfriends.” I hope this video on empathy can help to inspire you.

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