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Among the clients who join our billiard gatherings, Calvin is the best player.
Vivian told me she wanted to learn playing pool. From my experience, Vivian is not very good at expressing appreciation and emotions. She can come across as a bit difficult to be approached. I reminded her that ESTP people are very logical and she needed to improve her communication skills. She took my advice seriously and became more generous in complementing others.

An attractive girl who always wears high heels, Vivian was courted by my other clients, but I wanted to give Calvin a chance.
At our 14th anniversary party, I arranged a pool game for them. They played as a team and won. He sent her flowers and invited her to dinner afterwards. Two months later, they told me they are off the market.

ESTP women won’t start a relationship unless they see it as leading to marriage. That she picked Calvin out of all her pursuers means it is likely that they will tie the knot soon.

When I play Cupid for my clients, I always match singles with compatible personality types. That’s why Calvin, being the ESFJ type with loyalty, extroverted traits and strong planning skills, hit it off with the ESTP Vivian who is logical, extroverted but weak in planning for the big picture.

Since the start of their dating, Calvin lost much weight for Vivian. A handsome chap coupled with an attractive girl. I look forward to their wedding.

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1. If you are a Westerner, meeting Asian girls … instead of giving a kiss on the cheek, test the waters out to see what makes the lady comfortable.

2. Shaking hands only happen when you are meeting someone for business – DON”T DO THAT ON A DATE. Most European, France, Spain, Italy, and UK men like to greet friends by kissing on both cheeks. Dutch and Belgium will give a cheek kiss 3 times.

3. If you don’t know how to react, just smile which is the near-universal friendliness. Do not act like you never have been kissed on the cheek before. Act like nothing has happened.

4. Make sure you spray cologne/perfume, and that your face is clean and neat, not oily. About perfume: many people are allergic especially to cheap perfume.

5. In Asia, generally speaking, no physical contact on the first date when greeting each other (best to wait until things are more relaxed – a few drinks definitely helps!).
In conclusion, a hug, a gentle touch of the shoulder, a smile on a first date.

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He said “Study and practice!”

This applies to all professional jobs, dating, and relationships. Someone also said: I found the harder I work, the luckier I get.

Therefore let’s keep studying and practicing how to be good at dating, a good gentleman/lady, or a good spouse.

You will find the harder you work at it…the luckier you become, and the closer you will get to what you want.

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We’re hosting a Pre-Valentine’s Day Party on Saturday, February 3 to celebrate our singledom together. Who knows, you may meet someone that you’d want to spend V-Day with.

Here are some tips for a Valentine’s Day dinner date:

1: Don’t pick an over-priced restaurant for V-day. It’s not good value and there’ll be too much pressure on both of you.

2: If it’s a first date, gentlemen should ask if she has any food preferences and present 2-3 restaurant choices, then most importantly, MAKE THE RESERVATION. Keep communicating with her throughout the process.

3: Manage your expectations. Enjoy the moment, and don’t take things for granted. Remember the other person chose to spend this special day with you.

4: If you’re early in your relationship, a small, thoughtful gift may be appropriate. Show appreciation.

5: Look your best. If you’ve been single for a while and not sure what to wear, ask a friend to go shopping with you. But also keep in mind that the prettiest thing you can wear is a smile.

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If you ask her what she likes, she will politely say, “Anything is fine.” Instead, ask if she has any food allergies or preferences and make your restaurant selection based on that. Read some restaurant reviews. If the place is nice, and it should be nice for a first or second date, MAKE A RESERVATION. It shows that you respect the occasion and consider it important enough to ensure that it goes well.

For the ladies: Unfortunately, not every guy will understand the importance of good preparedness. If the guy is busy, or is nervous about choosing the wrong restaurant, you can take a positive step by offering to make the reservation. Pick a restaurant that you have been wanting to try with someone. It doesn’t necessarily mean they’re not sincere if they don’t make a reservation; it could just be that they’ve been single for a long time, and are not confident enough to make such decisions yet.

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As soon as Rene arrived, Gilbert invited her to play doubles, which was very gentlemanly of him. During the game, Bo suddenly kissed Gilbert. Now Rene is a confident lady, and instead of protesting that she is Gilbert’s girlfriend, she gazed at the pool table mapping out how to help him win the game. When it was her turn, Rene asked Gilbert what she would get if she made the shots. A kiss? On the lips? He really likes her but he also has to be respectful of his colleagues, including Bo. After Rene potted two amazing shots to win the game, he gave her a deep passionate kiss. Bo got the message.

If your partner is desirable, other people will have their eyes on him/her. Stay cool and show confidence in yourself and in your partner. Playing pool helps you focus and stay cool under pressure, and it will pay off one day.

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We are all expected to make efforts to excel in our work or career, but we should avoid being defined by our jobs. We need to expend more energy cultivating empathy and other virtues, which may be more important to achieving success in life and in a relationship.

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In this group, potential matches meet regularly to practice. One night, I was playing with my client Evelyn when two mature western guys in their early 50s came up and asked to join us for mixed doubles. After a few shots, I asked one of the guys, “Why aren’t you teaching your partner Evelyn?” He said she wasn’t listening to him. Evelyn is a businesswoman and knows how to play, so it’s difficult for her to just follow advice.

I suggested to Evelyn to try listening more to your partner, even if you disagree, and see what happens. Then the guy said, “You sound like you’re teaching her how to be a wife.”

I said, “Partnership is not just about telling the other person what to do. It’s about communication, and making an effort to avoid misunderstandings.”

In any game, teamwork is tantamount to success and enjoyment. It is important to make your partner feel that his/her efforts are appreciated. If it’s your life partner and you cannot agree on the small things, it’s going to be a long, arduous journey.

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I said that sounds familiar. She laughed and agreed that it’s a lot like dating. Love is never effort-free. Dating itself should not be easy. In the movies, all that drama and romance is condensed into two hours. In life, it takes time for love to grow, and yes, develop. We also make positives from the negatives.

In my matchmaking experience, those who achieve successful outcomes are the ones who maintain an open mind and keep refining the process. The client signed up and took the first step in her journey of love.

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