What makes a happy, healthy relationship?

We must be complete in order to have a healthy relationship. We need to have a well-rounded self that includes family, hobbies, various activities and interests, a healthy lifestyle, friends, and possess personal traits such as confidence and self-respect.

If you look at the many couples who remain in a happy relationship, they are, individually, a generally happy person. They are satisfied with who they are, individually, and they choose to share of themselves with a partner. Those who miss a chunk of wholesomeness and can’t figure out what is lacking might believe that if they find someone who can make then happy, by completing them and filling their inner gaps, then they will be happy. This expectation is the biggest killer in a relationship. Because our confidence and wellbeing spring from within.

When we meet someone and fall in love, only a part of our life and our partner’s overlap, perhaps 20-30% of it. We need to maintain a space to cultivate interests outside the relationship so as to cultivate ourselves.

If we are totally preoccupied and interested in the other at the expense of all other interests and relationships, for example with friends and relatives, disaster will ensue. The partner will feel a huge responsibility to fill all your needs. It becomes exhausting!

Many believe that to form a happy relationship, you need to complete each other. As if you can only be complete with a partner! Not true! A happy relationship is a meeting of two complete, that is, secure, persons.

How to spot that special person? Here are a few tips:

1. If he/she get upset at small things, and it becomes noticeable very quickly, say within a short period such as 3 months from the first meeting, it is a red flag. When someone generally smiles and appears to be very close to their family, go for it!
2. Whenever you notice some of your dating interest or love’s habits, the last thing you want to is to change that person. Never do that. Appreciate the person in their fullness, for who they are.
3. H.M Harwood once said,“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
4. If you are career driven, it is extremely important that you find a supportive partner who has a similar understanding of life and of your values and brings positive energy into your daily life. That’s why most successful people are carefree in their 20s, find love and build a family around the age of 25-35, and then build wealth. Be sure that your values and aspirations with regard to career and family match the other and that he/she will be supportive of your aspirations!

A happy partner and a healthy relationship will support your satisfaction with life and success.