A typical Valentine’s Day in HK is sending flowers to the office, booking a nice restaurant, buying a gift or buying each other a gift.

Your partner might be just clueless: Don’t assume they know what you want. Sometimes men really have no clue how important it is that they do something on that day. For some of them, it’s just another working day.

Gift or no gift?
If you would like a certain gift, tell him sweetly. But remember to ask what he would like to have too. This is when you are in a long relationship or married. Men generally will give you a surprise when they are chasing you.
For a couple at the dating stage, who want to give surprise to their partner, you can ask common friends what they would like. Or try to recall if they hinted at anything in the previous conversation.

Tell him exactly what you want:
Ladies, if he really did not do anything and you love him, don’t get upset. Be sweet and suggest a place you would like to go. He will be happy to do that if he can afford it and he loves you. If he doesn’t….no big deal, as long as he is not spending that day with any other woman.

Be extremely easy going:
If he suggests a gift or a restaurant you don’t like, find a way to appreciate it and share how you feel a few days later. Because if you don’t take the first offer, he might not suggest another because he doesn’t know what you like.

Whatever happens that evening, keep happy and feel fortunate!

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You know we have a dog language and a baby language, I have found some husband language which is useful in dating, relationships or marriage.

If you don’t know these tricks, the chances are that you may have the same problem with different relationships. A man likes a woman who cares about him like his mother, but never nags him or yells at him.

1: Say your preferred option last, with a smile. When you want to do something, you want him to feel like it’s his choice. Say what you least prefer first, then what you like second with a big smile. Most of the time, it makes no difference to them anyway.

2: Be the role model: Be a clean cook – that means after cooking the kitchen is almost clean, except the serving and eating dishes.

3: Change your thinking: Instead of thinking he never washes the dishes, you should think he would rather wash the dishes than watch you do it, but if he does they are not clean enough, and you need to do them again.

4: The most well know trick. Put the nice clothes that you like on top of the others, while leaving the old ones at the bottom of the pile.

5: Mirroring: If there is a problem, and you nag him, he won’t change. It’s like if you do something, you must think there is no problem. Instead, focus on the nice things, mention a nice thing he did lately. Then he will do something to make you happy.

6: Say darling/honey/sweetheart, can you help me with this, please? Start with something small, reward him with a small victory.

The key is to recognize their effort in the the way you like to be recognized.

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Dear Rachael,

You may not remember me – my name is Jacqueline, one of your old clients. When I first came to your office a few years ago asking for your help, you lent me this book to read.

I have learnt a lot from this book, and I want to thank you for everything. As I was going through my book collection recently, I realized I had not returned the book to you!

So here I am, delivering this book back to you. And I’m sure you will be thrilled to hear that I’m married and have a 22 months old boy, I’m also expecting another baby in Feb 2019. We will be moving to Singapore soon!

So thank you once again!

And all the best!

Jacqueline

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1: Many people like to dress up in a horror costume, with fake blood make up on their face. If you are in a relationship and want a fun night out, that’s OK. But if you are single, and have horror makeup on your face, the chances are others won’t see your real face and won’t remember you. Even if you bump into each other again you won’t recognise each other. 

2: Go for the classics: the most eye-catching ones are always a group of more than 2 girls dressing up in uniform or as famous historical people, like Sailor Moon, or superheroes. You will find there are plenty of fake abs six packs and superhero outfits. 

3: When to go out: this year Halloween is on a Wednesday; in my experience, when Halloween falls on a school night, most people will dress up and party the weekend before or after. It’s better to just go out on Friday after work, then dress up on the Saturday.  Like every year, there will be lots of people walking around LKF, but their mood is just to see what the most interesting outfits are out there. Most bars are quiet on that evening…. go out anyway. 

4: Preparation: No matter whether you want to dress up or not, it’s always better to do some research about this special occasion. Are there any interesting parties to go to? What are the themes? In case you want to dress up, can you get an outfit that fits you properly?  Most casual cheap outfits won’t fit. The better way is to buy it earlier and take to a tailor. Study, prepare and have fun! 

Make this Halloween unforgettable. Target to meet at least 5-10 new friends….

Join our Halloween Party…

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Keeping fit: It takes 3-6 months to drop 5 to 15 pounds if you want to look good in a wedding dress or groom’s outfit. Also other beauty and fitness improvements take time to do.

Wedding dress: A wedding dress takes a month to alter or 4-6 months to order.

Engagement ring: An engagement ring takes 3-6 weeks to alter the size.

Wedding Theme: You may also want to have a wedding theme, such as romantic, vintage, beach, garden, modern. Some materials might need to be ordered a long time in advance.

Holiday application: You might need to know how soon and how long you can take off for the honeymoon. Save some holiday for this.

Wedding venue: Your dream wedding venue will take 12-18 months to pre-book if you are looking for a venue within budget, food you like, and a location that is close to your elderly family members. If you are looking for a venue that is available on the same day as the church, remember the church usually takes a year ahead to book.

Marriage registration: After you submit the registration form, you need to wait 20 days before you can register as officially husband and wife.

New dream home: It’s not a good idea to renovate a new apartment and plan your wedding at the same time. Too much stress and expense that will cause conflict. Better to do it after the wedding. Get a serviced apartment if you can.

The most important thing: Finding the right person: On average it takes 3-6 months to develop a relationship and a year to decide if you want to marry that person. Study and research how to find the right person.

The best way to do the above research is by helping out any friends who are getting married soon, so that you can get some ideas while you are helping.

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Sometimes when people go on a date, they decide too soon that he/she is not my type, but I think we can be friends. If these people put in more effort and spent more time together, doing things that each other like, the chance to grow the chemistry is higher.

What happens is that most people have an ideal partner, and in the process of searching, they always look for that type of person and simply ignore others. It’s like at work, when you hire a staff member who is not that bright, but after certain training and coaching that person may be the most capable employee. Dating is very similar – both parties have to put in some effort and do things for each other.

When I do a consultation, for those clients who choose a partner based on looks, I suggest you can choose based on the look. But there may be others whose look does not match you, you can still give them a chance, because they will consistently and persistently stick around, doing things for you, surprising you. If he is in love with you, he will do everything for you to make you happy. He will give you exactly the life you want, the wedding you want, and be there when you need help. If you try to always go for your type and you are still single, try to let people come to you. Those who think you are their type. You will be much happier in the relationship.

When you find this person, try to be very honest – communicate what you like and don’t like. If he does everything for you, try to do one thing for him. For a man, finding someone he can trust, who really cares about him and who looks after herself, means she will also look after him. She is exactly what he needs. Biologically women are better at small detailed things; men are better at fixing problems.

You may hear most single guys’ houses are messy. Do not judge; help them to get some new clothes, hire a helper, show a good example of a tidying habit, eating healthily and exercising regularly. In an extreme case, get a new serviced apartment and take time to fix things. Most women will walk away if a guy lives in a messy place. But if you know him for a long time, you know he is a good guy, he just focuses too much at work. Help him, and he will be yours. This is at the stage that you both are still friends, but enjoy doing things together. This is also the essential stage that love starts to grow.

When you marry your best friend, you know you can trust each other. You might get upset if your boyfriend or girlfriend did not do something special for your birthday, but we rarely will get upset if it’s our best friend. We also have less expectations, and are willing to do things for each other. Lower divorce rates, longer marriages.

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Hearing the stories of divorced clients made me realize that marrying young might not be that wise for me. Being a matchmaker, and always helping male clients in their grooming gives me very high standards regarding how a man should dress, his table manners, how he should treat a lady, and how can I tell if he is serious.

When Jason came for a consultation, for some reason I was very confident that I would find someone for him. At that time I had a boyfriend, but he was not always around. I used to see him around 1-2 times a month, which I was OK with. The client who referred Jason told me he liked to play pool; we started to play pool as friends. We found that we could and would talk for hours, about all sorts of things. We would find reasons and excuses to spend time together.

I convinced him to go clean-shaven, wear cologne, get some smart casual outfits, throw away old clothes and gave him other grooming tips.

He was very gentlemanly. We only played pool, always with other friends and we had no physical contact until my (now) ex-boyfriend called me and told me his busy schedule meant he didn’t have time for a relationship. I thanked him. I told Jason I needed three months to recover; he said you can take as much time as you want.

The first moment when he impressed me was when I found he is very knowledgeable about music, history, geography and books. He passed almost all my common sense questions. He knows 1.9999999 when the 9 goes to infinity, is not less or more than 2, it’s equal to 2. He used to play Rugby when he was young; he has the triangle body, which I am obsessive about. He can name most of the songs and singers. He is also a good guitar player.

When I told him the editor that I hired made spelling mistakes he said he will do it for me for free. He used to do proofreading for Oxford University Press.

My mother was in hospital for an operation on her knee. Jason offered to come with me when I visited her. I said if you do she will ask lots of questions, like are you my daughter’s boyfriend and are you going to marry her? He said he would tell her I will marry your daughter if she will have me. I asked him if he was serious. He said don’t listen to what I say, watch what I do and how I treat you, and you will know.

When I told him my best friend lives with her mother in law and looks after her, and not many girls are willing to do that, he said your mother could live with us if you want. As long as we have our own room. She made the most wonderful and beautiful girl in the world, I owe her very much.

He met my best friend, she said he is better than all my ex’s. I asked in which way? She said in every way. Getting your best friend’s approval might score higher than parents’ approval. My staff kept saying good things about him. Whenever I tell him I have a big or small problem, he fixes it. I realised this is the Man I can count on.

When I asked him to come to the gym with me, he said OK, but you need to help me to pick the gym outfit. He hadn’t been to the gym for seven years.

He always plays pool (billiards) and he always lets me win, and play as long as I want to.

When I tell him things I don’t like, he fixes them immediately. When I asked about all these changes, will you remain the same after we are married, he said I am happy about the changes, you make me a better man.

When he is meeting his friends, he always takes me along too. His friends said Jason, what’s going on? You changed your entire wardrobe, clean shaven, you’re wearing cologne, you’ve quit smoking, signed up at the gym…..

What makes me admire him is his intelligence and willingness to change. Of course, we have very very strong chemistry. We both agree the friendship period built up the strong chemistry.

For my birthday, he asked my staff to give him a list of ten things I want. I said in this case you also let me know ten things you want. He said I just want one thing from you – your heart – and do one thing for me – be my partner.

Starting from 30th July to the date he formally proposed on 7th Sept, we only had one day when we did not see each other, because he was not in HK. Our highest record is 5 times in one day. We are each other’s best friends and we just don’t want to do things without each other.

Around five years ago (a very long time before I met Jason), I sat down and thought about what I was looking for in an ideal husband. I came up with 25 things I would want in my perfect partner and wrote them down. When I was moving apartment recently I found the list and read it again. Jason ticked the box in all except number 25, which wasn’t really all that important anyway. He also has extra qualities that I hadn’t thought of before, but which I love.

Our Engagement parties are on 13th Sept (Thu) 7pm and 21st Sept (Fri) 7pm (since we have many people we want to invite, not everyone can make the same date).

I chose 22nd Feb, his birthday, as our wedding date. I want him to feel special but he said great, in this way he will never forget our wedding anniversary – not that he would ever forget it anyway, he has a photographic memory.

After spending many days together and in every day many hours …we just fell in love without me realising it.
People ask how did he propose. I said with ENTJ which is the logical executive, we simply walked into the jewellery shop, he asked me which ring I loved and we bought it.

When I went to try a dress, I called him and said I can’t decide the dress without you. He said I will be there in 5 minutes. He is a busy executive but he is very generous with his time. I think a man who is willing to give you time is more generous than one who gives you money.

People ask him why he loves me – he says I make him think and make him laugh. He is the best person he has ever been since he met me.

I offered to sign a prenuptial, he said no need, we are never going to divorce. That means he will treat me really well no matter what. I was shocked by the answer.

When he told his boss that he got engaged, his boss fell off his chair. When he told his best friend that he just got engaged, his friend was choked.

I asked my friend how did she choose her husband when she invited me to her wedding. She said someone who is crazy about you. I think we are crazy about each other in every way.

I hope I can use my experience to help people find what I have found.

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Max: ENTJ, extrovert, intuitive, Logical, Judging
Rebecca: ESFP, Extrovert, Observant, Feeling, Prospecting

I was introduced to Rachael and Smith a few weeks ago by a friend who had used their service and recommended it. I have a very busy job & didn’t devote much time to self-grooming. I wasn’t overweight, but I wasn’t fit either. Rachael gave me some great tips about fitness, grooming, dating and encouraged me to quit smoking and join a gym.

I went on a date and was instantly attracted to my partner. As I got to know her, I found that she was both very clever and very funny, which I find irresistible in a lady. I couldn’t believe that I had met someone who combines brains and beauty in such an incredible way. By our third date, I had fallen profoundly and irrevocably in love.

In the past, I was always too busy to devote sufficient time to make a relationship work, but in the past few weeks, we have seen each other every day, which proves that if you really want to be with someone you will find a way or make a way.

We love doing the same things – eating out, being with friends, playing pool, movies, pub quiz & shopping for books are just some of the things we have done together. She makes me the very best person I can be and I will love her forever.

I love general knowledge and challenges – I have participated in a pub quiz pretty much every week for the last 6 years. Now I get a new company to do thing I like to do.

After seeing each other for 22 days in a row, we decided to shop for an engagement ring, throw an engagement party for all of our friends, and plan our wedding and honeymoon.

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If you and your partner are both extrovert, you will both enjoy an evening out. Wine and dine.

If you have just started seeing someone, ladies, these days feel free to say something like “There is a new restaurant …..would you like to try it with me on Friday?” Do not worry about being rejected. If that person turns down the invitation he is not for you anyway. Choose to spend the evening with friends or family – you will be equally happy.

For guys, if you are at the courting stage, in case you want to send flowers, that day most flower shops only guarantee to deliver during office hours. It’s better you take an hour off and bring them yourself. Any girl who receives that will appreciate it. Book a restaurant that is close to her office in case she can make it for lunch. Book a table for dinner too, but no need to tell her. Surprise her. Do it without expectation. Then you won’t get disappointed.

If you want to spend the weekend together, go to Shek O (call Uber if you are not driving) for a nice long lunch. Book a hotel (2 rooms if you are not at that stage yet). With most hotels, if you book a room, you enjoy the spa, gym and swimming pool there. At around 6 pm, watching the sunset at Ritz Carlton Lobby lounge will be romantic. A glass of Bollinger to start the evening is always nice. There is a Japanese restaurant at 103/F ICC; the chef will demonstrate his special cooking and serving skills.

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